Today’s coffee is a mixture of chores to get done and the struggles of being a parent of a strong-willed high school student in the midst of hybrid learning.
Started out being able to sleep in today and then kept going with laundry and cat snuggles while I watched a show.
The teen came home after texting me in the parking lot of school saying she’s had anxiety all day and not sure why. After she got home I tried to talk to her about it. I tried offering to take her to lunch, I offered a mountain drive. I tried asking her about her classes today. All of which she was emotional and combatant about.
My job since leaving the workforce has been to help her navigate school. Her first 2 years of high school sucked. From a horrible teacher freshman year that made her doubt herself and how smart she was to last years physical up and downs. I felt like I had failed her and didn’t advocate enough for her to help her through it with the demands of retail management. Her grades had tanked. My bright student in elementary school and middle school that was on honor roll now struggled to get passing grades.
This year it was going to be different. I’m home and here for her. So, her and I came up with a system. A check and balance of sorts with a planner for her and one for me. She let me know assignments and when tests were and then when things got turned in she’d show me. I color coded classes so it was easy to know what was due on each day for which class and I had markers that then I checked off her assignments as she turned them turned in.
Seemed to work the first month… she had A’s and B’s (even in her AP courses) except Algebra 2 since she tanked a test… but we had a system in place to help her do better on the next one.
The second month she started to show missing assignments on Infinite Campus… the platform the school uses… all assignments she never told me about. And try as hard as I might I can’t seem to get the truth from her as to what is going on.
Last week we sat down and looked at all missing assignments and wrote them down along with all current items. We had a plan of how things were getting done. As all good plans it fell by the wayside from an unexpected day of work to boyfriend issues to physical issues.
Bring today… her day she was going to do things since she doesn’t work today. And I see she has new missing assignments… yep. So we’ve been combating on and off for 3 hours now. Tears on both sides. As of now her grades continue to tank… although Algebra is getting better… so close to not being a D.
I wish I could say this was a new issue since the pandemic but really this is just life. The new hybrid model is hard and does play a part in this but that isn’t our main issue. I struggle wanting my kid back. The one who was so intent on going to an ivy league school and now I’m not sure she can get into any 4 year college. She’s not that person anymore. She’s insistent she’s going to a 4 year out of state college but with a 2.6 GPA… I keep hoping she finds that passion and spark again.
I’m now sitting in my bedroom (in my new chair we bought this weekend) with tears as I write this as she’s at her spot at the diningroom table converted to school zone… because her desk is too small to spread out… as she’s sniffling and crying maybe doing schoolwork.
All I keep wondering is when she leaves us and goes on her own… is this what she’ll remember… tears and fights about homework… since I wasn’t around much for her younger years. I know the answer is No. I know this won’t be all she’ll remember.
Hugs my friends, I know each of us has struggles and it may seem tough sometimes but we can get through it…
One coffee at a time.
