Today, I am groggy and sore. I’m on my 2nd cup at the start of writing this. I became one with the mattress last night.
For those of you that don’t know… that is a rare statement for me. I don’t sleep well. In fact, I haven’t hit REM sleep in a few months as I get up several times a night. Either I’m uncomfortable and tossing and turning, I’m unbearably hot (even with a fan), or I’m up using the bathroom (sometimes 7 times in that many hours).
How I know I don’t hit the sweet spot in sleep… I hear everything around me. The creaks of the house, the furnace fan kicking on and off (one night, I counted this), both fridges running, the windchimes on the deck, the cars on the street, you get the idea. It’s the weird sleep that you are asleep but yet not out to the world. That’s been my life. Only recently did I have the realization that at least it is still rest (eyes closed kind of rest). Last year before and after my MS diagnosis, some of the non-sleep was associated with stress & anxiety, where my brain wouldn’t shut off (thank you to Hallmark Channel for starting Christmas movies so early, as it was something I could turn on and zone out to). Or the fact that my body hurt (nerves firing). Now, it’s just not finding the comfy, sweet spot.
On a side note: I will go into more of my MS diagnosis in further posts… I’m finding it easier and easier to talk about, but I haven’t been posting anything online. I had not wanted every conversation/interaction to be about MS. Although, because it’s still so fresh, I do talk about it a lot. The diagnosis is one of a few reasons why last year was my hardest year.
This week I saw my neurologist for a follow-up and we talked about my non-sleep. She had prescribed some pain pills in October that have a side effect of drowsiness that might help with the nerves firing and sleep issues. I was hesitant to try them as I wasn’t in pain (thankfully!). Especially after reading more into the meds and understanding that eventually I would be on the pills later in life, so I never took them as I was afraid to, and to build up that an immunity so early in my diagnosis. However, after talking with the doctor on Tuesday, we decided I should try it and see if it helps… 3 days in, and it worked. I’m slightly nervous about taking something every night, or like I said above, building an immunity to something that I will need later in life.
I’m thankful for the good night’s sleep. I’ll try it again tonight as last night’s late night of hockey (getting home just before midnight) and taking the pill shortly after still had me not quite asleep at 2. But I slept from 2 to 8:30, getting up once for the bathroom. I’m still feeling super sleepy and slightly off-kilter… one of the other side-effects is dizziness (which is unnerving, especially in the middle of the night for the bathroom break). So, we’ll see how it works and go from there. I know there is many of options out there to help in the sleep department but in my transition from one neurologist to another a few months from now, it’s nice to know I have a reprieve from the sleeplessness.
I didn’t mean for this to be more of a journal entry, oh well. So, I’ll throw in some fun from last night. It was the first games of the spring season last night. Nordiques, Seals, and North Stars all won, (kinda cool that Scott’s 2 former teams won their games, too). There was fun in the stands with Ben & Sam and our new mascot, Flerp the Derp (the most awesomest of Yetis), and Ashlynn, Tony and Faith were there for a bit too. We had snacks from my magical bag, found out about Flerps secret pouch and most excitedly… Scott got a goal!
Now that it’s just past noon, I’ve done a little bit of work, some online shopping (mostly tracking current purchases) and I’ve been staring at the empty second cup for quite some time. I should probably get showered, head to the grocery store for the 2 things needed before the 2 inches to 4 feet of snow arrives and get going for the rest of the day.
Thanks for your love and patience in reading todays journal entry and most of all… I hope you enjoy your cups today!